Re: JCO: Missing Mom

Thank you, Eric, for your tip. I look forward to reading Joan Didion's book. You may find it interesting that when I visited amazon.com to see if they have a good cheap copy available - The Year of Magical Thinking was on the list of recommended reading for me because I had bought Missing Mom. They also recommended White Girl Black Girl by JCO. Is this book also about grief?
Regards, Marie

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RE: JCO: Missing Mom

Marie,
My favorite writer on grief is the under-appreciated Irish short story writer Mary Lavin (1911-199?). Her 'widow stories' are scattered throughout her later volumes (1965 and later) but there is nothing like them. Some of her celebrated stories addressing grief include: In a Cafe, In the Middle of the Fields, The Cuckoo Spit and Happiness. JCO reviewed her back in the 70's and seemed to admire her. A study about Lavin is appropriately titled Quiet Rebel. Her stories are quiet shockers. I also think the second half of Woolf's To the Lighthouse is superb on grief.
Rick O

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RE: JCO: Missing Mom

Hello Marie
 
I agree that Missing Mom is a very moving novel for the reasons you described.
 
Another book I read recently which deals so powerfully with the subject of grief is Joan Didion's memoir The Year of Magical Thinking. It demonstrates how emotional response can't be regulated by rational thinking, how the physical presence of those we've lost can take up habitation in our minds and the way we live our daily lives. It's a beautiful form of tribute despite how painful a process it is. You may be interested in reading Oates' novel American Appetites if you haven't already which partly deals with grief and loss concerning a relationship between a husband and wife which was much more tumultuous than that which Nikki had with her mother. However, the daughter's way of mourning is similar in some ways to that of Missing Mom.
 
Eric

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JCO: Missing Mom

I've just finished reading "Missing Mom". I was truly moved by it maybe because I have recently experienced the death of my sister, with whom we were very close, and I could relate to Nikki's feelings so well. Nikki tried to impersonate her mother and I tried to impersonate my sister – like Nikki I have tried to become a new me. The subject of death of the loved ones and our coping mechanisms to survive without them is quite painful to those who have been through it but maybe quite abstract to those who have not. Has anybody read a good novel that handles the topic as sensitively as JCO?
Cheers, Marie

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